Sehun have a boyfriend who grew up with her. His name is Chanyeol. She always thought of him as a friend
until last year, when they went to a trip from a club. Sehun found that she fell in love with him. Before thattrip was over, She took a step and confessed her love for him. And soon, they became a pair oflovers, but they loved each other in different ways. She always concentrated on him only, but byhis side, there were so many other girls. To her, he was the only one, but to him, maybe she was just another girl…

“Chanyeol, do you want to go watch a movie?” 
Sehun asked.
“I can’t”“Why? You need to study at home?” 
Sehun felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…

Chanyeol was always like that. He met girls in front of Sehun, like it was nothing. To him, Sehun was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since Sehun knew him, Sehun never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To them, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand Sehun a doll, everyday, without fail. Sehun don’t know why…

Then one day…
Sehun: Um, Chanyeol, I …
Chanyeol: What…don’t drag, just say..
Sehun: I love you.
Chanyeol: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored Sehun's ‘three words’ and handed Sehun the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…Then one day came, Sehun's 15th year old birthday. When Sehun got up in the morning, Sehun send him pictured a party with him, and stranded herself in her room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told Sehun to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily. 

Sehun: Chanyeol…
Chanyeol: Here…take this…Again, he handed Sehun a little doll.
Sehun: What’s this?Chanyeol: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Sehun: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Chanyeol: Today? Huh?

Sehun felt so sad, she thought he would remember herbirthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. 

Then Sehun shouted… “Wait…”
Chanyeol: You have something to say?
Sehun: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Chanyeol: What?!
Sehun: Tell me

She put her pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.

“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.

”That was what he said. Then he ran off. Sehun's legs felt numb… and she collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…After that day, she stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although she was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everydayAfter a month, she got herself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that…she saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… She ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… And ask why did he gave these to her… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, she threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. She tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. She kept reminding herself that shes going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Chanyeol: Sehunna, I thought you were pissed, you really came?Sehun couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual… 
Sehun: I don’t need it. 
Chanyeol: What….why…

Sehun grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.

Sehun: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!

She spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…

Sehun: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…
Honk~ Honk~With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

“Chanyeol! Move! Move away!” 
Sehun shouted… 

But Chanyeol didn’t hear her, he squatted down and picked up the doll.

“Chanyeol, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” 

That sound, so terrifying.That’s how he went away from Sehun. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to Sehun.After that day, Sehun had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… She took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how…She started to count the dolls…“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.She then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. She hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” She dropped the dolls, shocked
“I….lo..ve…you??” She picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! She pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.“I love you~”“I love you~”“I love you~” Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t me realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… Sehun took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much.

“Sehunna…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Sehunna… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? Sehun asked god, why do she only know about all this now? He can’t be by her side, but he loved me until his last minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life ..

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